There are days when I feel like I spend my life with my foot in my mouth.
Not on purpose.
It just seems like “embarrassment” follows me around. Like an old familiar friend.
And although “embarrassment” and I have seen our share of good times, I thought we were well on our way to breaking up. Over. Done. Finissimo. I was moving on to a new relationship with “model citizen.” Together we were going to be unstoppable….with my foot out of my mouth planted securely on the floor.
The road ahead seemed paved with days and weeks of unembarrassing success.
And my stamp to remember.
For several years now, I have stamped vintage silverware. Currently, my pieces sell in a wonderful shop downtown. There’s a display of my silver there, featuring stamped sayings like:
“For this child I have prayed”
“I love you a latte”
“Serve the Lord”
and my most popular wedding set…. “I Do”….”Me Too.”
Customers purchase the silver and then I custom stamp it with names, birth dates, wedding dates, etc.
In all, I have probably stamped over 400 pieces of silver…..flawlessly.
Yesterday, a sister of the bride stopped by to order a set for an upcoming wedding shower.
Simple and easy.
A set I could stamp in my sleep…..with my eyes closed and whistling Dixie while playing the banjo with my toes.
She ordered the”I DO….ME TOO” set with the nickname of the bride and groom and the wedding date on the handle.
So I stamped……I DO (and then the brides’ nickname EM) and followed it up with ME TOO (and then the groom’s nickname IKE).
Just a routine stamp order.
Or so I thought.
Remember me? The flawless, perfect, mistakeless stamper?
400 stamps without a whisker out of place.
I handed her the silver.
She oohed and she ahhhed with a smattering of hand-clapping.
And then suddenly she stopped.
And she squinted.
And squinted some more.
At my silver….
….which was supposed to read:
“I DO IKE”……”ME TOO EM”
…..but instead I stamped this:
“I DO IKE”……….”ME TOO EW”
As in “yuck” as in “icky”
As in I totally misspelled the bride’s name to resemble the day-old cheerios stuck to my kitchen floor.
How I love thee.
Thou art my middle name
PS If you want to know more about silver stamping, just e-mail me with any questions not related to spelling.